My mind goes in circles. There is one things that takes up about 95% of my thoughts. The future. What will I do with my future to make the world a better place? Let me share with you the cycle of thought that takes place in my mind. It generally goes like this, and takes anywhere from 1-5 weeks to go through. Every time I end up at the same conclusion.
Thought process~~~Why am I at school? What should I be learning? Because right now, I'm just all over the place. I don't have a major, the possibilities are endless. I know that I can do anything I want to do, but it's a matter of what will be energizing and fulfilling, what will be life changing for me AND for others? Okay, well it has to be something I find enjoyable, obviously. Alright well, academic interests: calculus, art, music, occasionally history. Free time interests: reading, photography, fashion, music, history channel, nat geo. Hmmm...where is the crossover, the shared space of this mental venn diagram? *Around here, I will think up a new career choice and research it and look up majors that would be of benefit, and daydream about life on the job.* Will this new career really be that fulfilling? Will I really be helping people, will lives be changed for the better? ...probably not...will lives be changed with any careers that are associated with my interests/abilities? ...Y'know, now that I think about it, probably not. Why am I here? What is the point of getting educated and getting good jobs and making money and then spending it? We are all going to die, our bodies will rot, and our spirit will go to one of two places, am I really making a difference? *Sigh* Nope.
And here is where the conclusion that I usually come to has changed. Instead of finding that I am a waste of brain matter, I think I've finally realized that I am nothing. And it's so obvious, I mean I've been raised in a Christian home my whole life, I've been surrounded by amazing, Christ-like people but somehow, only just now has this basic principle hit home for me.
I am completely and utterly nothing. Nothing without my God.
I agree- without God, whats the point?
ReplyDeleteI'll bet you've realized this, too, but I want to point it out anyway. life is ever so much more fulfilling when you are living for God. When you are plugged in, utterly in love with him, and pouring into someone else's life.
Any job will work because we are called not to do it for our boss, or for money, or for anything else. We are called to do it for God, and as if every little thing we do was actually /for him/. And God will work through any decision you make, so I don't think the actual job matters as much as your attitude going into it, and that you're doing it for God's glory...
(sorry for such a long comment... haha, I could've written an post on my own blog with how long this turned out to be :) )
haha no problem, i love comments! the longer the better lol : P but yeah, i've definitely realized that!
ReplyDelete