On how everything is meaningless, an Ecclesiastical thought process

My mind goes in circles. There is one things that takes up about 95% of my thoughts. The future. What will I do with my future to make the world a better place? Let me share with you the cycle of thought that takes place in my mind. It generally goes like this, and takes anywhere from 1-5 weeks to go through. Every time I end up at the same conclusion.

Thought process~~~Why am I at school? What should I be learning? Because right now, I'm just all over the place. I don't have a major, the possibilities are endless. I know that I can do anything I want to do, but it's a matter of what will be energizing and fulfilling, what will be life changing for me AND for others? Okay, well it has to be something I find enjoyable, obviously. Alright well, academic interests: calculus, art, music, occasionally history. Free time interests: reading, photography, fashion, music, history channel, nat geo. Hmmm...where is the crossover, the shared space of this mental venn diagram? *Around here, I will think up a new career choice and research it and look up majors that would be of benefit, and daydream about life on the job.* Will this new career really be that fulfilling? Will I really be helping people, will lives be changed for the better? ...probably not...will lives be changed with any careers that are associated with my interests/abilities? ...Y'know, now that I think about it, probably not. Why am I here? What is the point of getting educated and getting good jobs and making money and then spending it? We are all going to die, our bodies will rot, and our spirit will go to one of two places, am I really making a difference? *Sigh* Nope.

And here is where the conclusion that I usually come to has changed. Instead of finding that I am a waste of brain matter, I think I've finally realized that I am nothing. And it's so obvious, I mean I've been raised in a Christian home my whole life, I've been surrounded by amazing, Christ-like people but somehow, only just now has this basic principle hit home for me.

I am completely and utterly nothing. Nothing without my God.

New dream destination!!! Err...after the East coast trip, of course ; )

The Wanderlust Festival

Let's see: welcome to my dreamland, where money and time is no issue...

Lodging (studio condo): $700
Wanderlust "Sage" tickets (4-day yoga + music): $450 x 4 people = $1800
Food for four days (idk what would be available?): $100 x 4 people = $400
Plane ticket to Reno (4 people, 2 stops, less than an hour away): $2120
Total: $5020 OR $1,200/person


A wonderful 1-4 days (whatever you want) full of music and YOGA.
I cannot stress how much I love yoga. Now, I don't get all into the beliefs that yoga is based on, but I love the stretches and exercises and meditation and calmness of it. Ahhh! I am so going to this place someday!!! Who's with me??

Sleepyhead

I've been having a hard time getting to sleep, sleeping the whole night through, and then feeling energized in the morning. I've picked up a several tips from magazines, and have paid attention to which of my own habits actually help me sleep better at night and here is what I am going to try to do to get a good rest:

1) Make sure the apartment and bedroom is pitch black. This sends signals to your brain that it's time to relax.

2) Have a nightly routine, this signals to your body that you are getting ready to sleep. There is a reason for the bath, book, bed routine as a child.

3) Exercise during the day. Exercise gets my heart pumping, so doing it at night keeps me awake. But, if it's done during the day, my muscles are tired and not pumped up at nighttime.

4) Another reason I usually can't sleep is because my mind just won't turn off. So, if I'm worrying about certain things, I will take a few minutes to write down the problem, and how I can fix it in the morning or the next day. Hopefully, running through possible solutions will put my mind at ease.

5) Go to sleep and wake up earlier rather than later. I have heard from multiple sources that this is more energizing regardless of your preference. Once your body gets used to it, sleeping and waking closest to the sun's hours is more natural for your body.

6) Do not eat less than three hours before bedtime. Your body will not be able to rest until the food is digested. Plus, there is no way to burn the calories, so you are also putting more energy into your body that could keep you wired.

And last but not least:
7) No dairy. For me, at least. I've heard of some people who drink warm milk when they can't sleep. However, I am lactose intolerant, so if I consume even the smallest amount of dairy, it causes some level of discomfort at night (even if I take enzyme pills). No matter how tempting late night runs to Dairy Queen are, I will not have an dairy at all this week.

New Past-time

Smash some beans baby

Boys are so immature and dumb.

Just sayin.

Psychology

I am taking a "spiritual gifts assessment quiz" right now.

It is asking me questions like "Do people come to you seeking spiritual or personal guidance in their lives?" and "Do you strengthen those who are waivering in their faith?"

Actually, no. I am usually the one doing the seeking of advice, and very often I might add. And I don't particularly attempt to strengthen peoples' faith, I try to understand why it is 'waivering' in the first place. I just prefer to observe and understand the reasons to peoples' thoughts and actions as opposed to trying to change them.

Ugh! Sorry, just had to get that out there, I HATE these questions. It makes me very uncomfortable trying to answer these questions without the ability to go into depth about the meaning of the questions and my answers.

Foreign Language Class...

Anyone know what language this is? I think these artists are popular in Iceland, what is the primary language in Iceland?
hmmm....

Things I've learned about myself:

~I used to think I would be able to do mindless, tedious tasks for hours as a job, but now that I have that kind of job, it's awful. I need something challenging, something that engages my mind, requires some thought and intellect, and is therefore extremely fulfilling.

~I keep trying to think "I don't need a boyfriend/love interest/significant other to be happy, I'll be fine until I get my career in tact" or "I really want a boyfriend, it would be nice to just have someone to have fun with and go on double dates with who buys me things." And lately, I just don't care. I am much happier letting things fall as opposed to trying to pick on potential possibility over the other, when that is never the case. It is never either/or with these things, there is always another potential situation. And now, I am finally okay with not worrying about that which is obviously not in my hands.

~When it comes to my career, I want to be the best. Which is why, I think, it is proving difficult to find a major that I excel at.

That is all concerning this subject.
I guess these all concern the future...

Photo Post

okayyyyy!!!

posting spree tonight!

hahaha making up for lost time i guess : P

this is a photo post, all old photos, I'm afraid.

But new ones are to come as soon as a certain wire is found (grrr...)

Pickled Beats

Some songs that have caught my attention lately, but are kind of old news (you may need to pause the automatic music on this blog, located at the bottom of the page):

~Happiness by Goldfrapp


~Wonderwall by Cat Power



~Summer Day by Coconut Records



~Two Doves by Dirty Projectors

Long time, no post

I feel like I haven't posted in forever!
I haven't really been doing much, just working (which I love love LOVE, btw) and working out! I've gone down a whole pants size! and alll that hard work probably just got ruined tonight lol : P

ANYWAYS
I've also just gotten addicted to the t.v. series Bones pretty recently, of which every episode can be found here

And...I'm trying to think of something interesting to post to make this more entertaining for you....

ah, here we are:
Stuff White People Like: Moleskin Notebooks
Feel free to check out the rest of the blog, it is extremely sarcastic, and therefore wonderful.