I think that

Love, if it really is Love, will always remain.

Hey. Look at me.

Look at those dimples. 

How bout the stretch marks?

See that mole on my upper arm?

It grows wiry black hairs. 

I trim them so as not to scare off small children with visions of witches. It's my own little inside joke and I smile when I notice the skin's extra sensitivity. 

Note the limp, static-y hair clinging to itself. 

The lack of body makes others jealous when it doesn't frizz in humidity.

Look at my weird knees and my vein-y feet, my pale pimple-prone skin and unshaved legs.

See where my eyebrows are just a little crooked? They haven't yet recovered from when I first started plucking them.

See the sagging skin under my chin and the movement in my upper arm? See the rolls in my tummy when I bend and how they smooth when I stretch? Look at the polish on my toes where the nail polish only covers half because it's grown out. 

Did you notice the stubble in my armpits when I waved to a friend?

Did you see my windblown hair, and impossibly rosy cheeks from racing my bike to class?

Did you notice how my eyeliner was a bit lopsided and my mascara was smudged frrom blinking when it was still wet?

If you didn't, that's lovely. 

If you did, know that this is me.

There are many incongruities between me and that model walking down Salvatore Ferregamo's spring runway. But I would rock that charcoal long-sleeved dress; it would bring out my eyes. And that belt! That belt would completely accentuate my smaller waist and curvy hips. Who needs smooth thighs and straight lines when I could make that designer dress look better on my blemished body than a model's boyish figure? I'm a woman, afterall.

These imperfections- the chipped polish and growing-in eyebrows, the stubbly legs and padded thighs- they make me interesting to look at. They make me feel unique when I surprise my roommates by lazing about in underwear.

Why make myself- and in effect, everyone around me- miserable by trying to fit myself into a confining body where I can't stretch or move too harshly?

And why do designer things not come in my size? I could walk that runway with more attitude than your prim models, Salvatorrr-ay.

Oh, and also...

The name of this place is getting worn thin. It barely had any life to begin with, only formed with the idea of changing it sooner than now. "A sunny little spot" has been dragged and pulled further than it should have been and I am so sorry for that, little blog name. It's time to put you to a peaceful rest, where you can doze in the sunny rays of...yourself...in cyberspace. You can meet other retired blog names and chat about the good ol' days, or make new friends with old pictures, or meet another blog...maybe she'll even end up being the blog of your dreams! Whatever your path, it's time that you chose it yourself. Soon you'll be heading off and making your own decisions, but never forget where you came from, little Asunnylittlespot! Soon, your time of rejuvination is coming! Just let me find a replacement for you first...

The Plan

I do not like going out and doing things for a few reasons:

1) It uses money that you need for things you really need, like bills.

2) It uses time you really need for things you really need to do (like studying and cleaning, for me).

3) I usually don't like whatever activity is going down anyway.

4) Last, but most certainly not least at this time of year, IT IS FREEZING.

So I have devised a plan for this winter...

THE PLAN:

Step 1~ Make a list of things you want to try.

Step 2~ Pick one of those items and apply it to everyday life for a full week.

Step 3~ Be happy despite the horrid weather because you am doing more things that you find enjoyable than you did when the weather was more enjoyable.

Hopefully, by the end of this plan, I'll be less moody and sloppy and preoccupied with things that don't matter. Maybe I'll be pleasant to be around and happy with who I am and maybe I'll learn a little something (especially with all the studying, eh?).  

SOOOO off to make another list (anyone else a list-a-holic? Really, they are a secret pleasure for me. Who cares if the items get crossed out, THEY'RE ON A LIST. That makes them so much more official, don't you think?)

*~~~~~*   What are you going to put on your "To Try" list?   *~~~~~*

Is it possible to lust after shoes?

Because I think I'm coming pretty close with these beauties. The color, the strap up the middle, the color and bow...it's all too much. I know this sounds emotionally unstable, but I've recently discovered within myself a shoe addict, and these make we want to cry- they are just THAT BEAUTIFUL.

Maybe in ten years, I'll find some at a thrift store or something...


...oh no. They have them in pumps too. Note the price on these babies.

Things to consider:

Bicycling in the Netherlands

Christian existentialism

A view on film photography

Feather earrings

Adorable kitties (here & here)

Roman Coppola's music video for Funky Squaredance by Phoenix

Sometimes there are some things that are so true

and I freeze. Like any movement could break the truth in it. As if truth is fragile. A breath too deep, a swallow too loud, a blink too sudden. Wallow in the truth. Let it seep into your being and engulf you.

Is this what they call an identity crisis?

Today, I got to cross "Write initials in wet concrete" off my bucket list.

; )

Western Civilization

In class today (this is an awesome class), we talked about presuppositions. We questioned them, analyzed them, thought about them. It was very interesting. I wondered about how I've grown up believing that education will lead to a successful life. That once I have financial stability, a husband, and a family, I will feel fulfilled and successful.

And now I'm questioning it.

We even went farther than that and questioned our presupposition that being loved and belonging is better than being unloved and not belonging.

I'm questioning that too.

I'm questioning a lot of things right now.

I like it, all these classes making me think. Professors talking about what I think about.

I just want to make people happy and proud of me. Is that a bad quality? It's stretching me so thin.